Gemma (15) was living away from her mum, Fiona, because they'd had a big argument about Gemma self harming after Fiona had been drinking. She'd also been having problems fighting with other girls and had put one in hospital. Fiona is disabled and recently had a baby. Gemma was living with her dad, who is also disabled, but wanted to go back to her mums for the weekends.

Fiona wanted to discuss the effect having disabled parents was having on Gemma; what it is like having a new brother; and self harming. Gemma said she wanted to talk about her mums drinking.

- Fiona apologised for getting angry (when drunk) about Gemma self harming and said she would like to support her in a useful way.

- Gemma said she doesn't like it when her mum drinks as she's a nippy drunk.

- Fiona acknowledged she handled things badly. She was feeling stressed and drinking more after having the baby and Gemma lying about self harming. She now thinks it wasn't a good idea to try to sort things when drunk; it just made the problems worse.

- Gemma said she lied to her mum about self harming because she was going so mad at her about it. She said she's dealing with it and has stopped, but still feels like she wants to sometimes. She said if her mum wants to support her she should stop asking her why, because she doesn't know. She wants her just to be there if she asks for help.

- Fiona said, as a parent, she wants to protect her and sometimes she might have to ask her about things if she is worried. Gemma said if she does ask, she should then back off if Gemma asks her to, and not push things too much; unless it is something really serious.

- Fiona said she'd been wondering how it is for Gemma, having disabled parents; because Gemma was getting very angry with people who said anything bad about disabled people. She said she understands and is proud of her for being protective but is worried it backfires sometimes and would like to help her deal with it in a positive way. She said words don't hurt her so she doesn't want Gemma to start wars over them.

- Gemma said the only thing that bothers her is people calling them names, but that finding out that her mum and dad aren't that bothered about it helps her not feel as angry. Fiona said that she would like her to come and talk to her about it because she has heard it all before and said she and dad often laugh about it.

- Gemma said that she is very happy having a new brother she has always wanted one. She appreciated that Fiona checked with her that she liked her new partner before he moved in and checked with her how she felt about her having a baby beforehand.

- Fiona was concerned Gemma was feeling neglected. Gemma said because Fiona was busy with the baby it meant she wasn't on her back all the time.

Since our initial meetings they had agreed to spend regular time together and both were enjoying it.

Gemma said she had been annoyed by her mum talking to other people about her business, but acknowledged that it was important for her to be able to talk to people. They agreed that if she does, it should only be with certain people and she should do it when Gemma can't over hear.

Over the course of the mediation Gemma moved back to Fiona's. Fiona was drinking less, and Gemma was getting into less trouble with her temper, and had stopped self harming.